


Cold as ice, hot as fire

by Killer_Queen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Coma, Fear, Friendship, Hope, Loki dying, Loki in a coma, Loki weak, Love, Miracles, Near Death, Other, Recovery, Sick Loki, Survival, Torture, Waiting, heatstroke, loki coma, loki heatstroke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-13 07:59:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18027830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killer_Queen/pseuds/Killer_Queen
Summary: Kidnapped, Loki didn’t worry. He knew, or thought, that he would be fine, that he would be able to escape easily or with the aid of his friends. But the torture planned for him wasn’t just any torture.....these people knew who they were dealing with. His own body started to betray him....





	1. Kidnapped!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pale_Laurels_Bleed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pale_Laurels_Bleed/gifts).



> I asked for sick Loki tic ideas and decided to do heatstroke. Hope you like it and please leave feedback on it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki didn’t mind being kidnapped as much as some people. He almost enjoyed it. He loved being calm as his kidnappers took him away, loved being locked in a basement or cell they thought could hold him. And he loved their cries of anger when he escaped.
> 
> Only, this time was different.
> 
> This first chapter’s a bit short, but I hope to write longer ones later.

Loki knew the drill too well. He knew that cooperation was the key to coming out on top.  
“Get in the boot!”  
Loki got in. After so many times like this, he knew the perfect way to scrunch up his legs and arms so he wasn’t too uncomfortable. Thor may have been better at swordplay than him, but he was much better at being kidnapped. A good skill to have? Perhaps. He knew the best way to hold his head to avoid banging it on the roof above him as he was thrown around, his kidnappers horrible drivers. To pass the time, he started thinking about how Tony would face palm when he returned from his “vacation”, how Thor would pat him on the back (if he were even on Earth at that moment, which he wasn’t!), trying to be tough and look as though he was knew that he would be alright but secretly relieved that he was okay, and not hurt. He passed the next six minutes in the boot thinking up tricks to play on his friends once he’d delt with his current situation. After six minutes, the car stopped, and he put his arms out in the perfect way to stop him lurching to the back of the boot. He didn’t resist as he was pulled out, at gunpoint as usual. He didn’t panic as a thick wad of duct tape was slapped over his mouth. And he didn’t retaliate as he was dragged into the seemingly abandoned building. He had done this all before. 

Like so many other times, Loki was half led, half dragged down a flight of stairs and into a dark and cold corridor. The cold didn’t bother him one tiny bit. He basked in it, feeling himself growing stronger. Like so many other times, he was thrown through a door without comment, landing on the hard concrete floor. Like so many other times, the door was slammed behind him and a dim light lit from the centre of the ceiling. He was almost laughing now as he pulled off the tape. He would sit back and relax for a while, take in his surroundings and plan a cunning and of course dramatic escape. He looked around. Like so many other times, the walls were bare concrete, dark and damp, probably an old food cellar or storage room. Like so many other times, there were cracks along the floor and a steady drip of a leaking pipe across the ceiling. Unlike the other times, the walls had been fitted with seemingly useless air vents. He smiled. The air vents were too small for him to crawl through, but if he only turned himself into something smaller and slimmer, a snake perhaps, he could use them as his escape route. Like so many other times he stood up and smiled.  
Then he heard the noise and felt the rush of air around him, coming from the vents a few moments ago he had dubbed useless. For a few minutes he wondered what the air was supposed to be doing. Was it some kind of toxin, invisible and odourless? Then he realised.  
The room was warming up.


	2. Not again...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony had hoped that Loki hadn’t been kidnapped again. It wasn’t because he was worried. It was because he hated how happy and tolerant Loki always was towards it. How okay he was with being abused, snatched up and taken away. It was self hate, in a way. He only hoped that Loki would get back soon.

Steve came back in after going on a search for Loki, and Tony knew what had happened the moment he saw his facial expression. He didn’t need the security footage to tell him.  
“He’s been kidnapped again, hasn’t he?” He asked, almost sighing. Steve nodded.  
“He didn’t even put up a fight this time. Just got in and let them take him.” He confirmed, thinking back to the CCTV footage he had just viewed. As usual, the culprits had pulled up in a car, a black one this time. And, as usual, Loki had been whisked away, to god knows where. At least they hadn’t bashed him this time. Not like last time.....maybe that was why he didn’t resist them.  
“Who was it this time?” Tony asked. Steve shrugged sadly.  
“I’m not sure. They had their faces covered.” He said. Probably more anti-Loki activists, he thought silently. There too many of those around.  
“Let’s hope he gets away soon.” Tony said. Steve nodded.  
“But we should be on alert......just in case.” He said.

Loki examined the air vents. They were welded shut, rendering him unable to remove the grates. They were pouring out hot air. No longer warm. Hot. He didn’t like it, because, as much as he loved the cold, he hated the heat. He hated it with a passion. It made him feel sick, weak and helpless. It wasn’t so bad yet. He was sweating a little, but not too much. He could probably stay strong for a little while yet....hopefully long enough to think of an escape plan.

Hours later, he had lost that little bit of strength. He felt himself growing weaker and weaker, warmer and warmer. His head ached, but he barely noticed due to the lightheadedness he was feeling. The sweating had stopped, which he knew was bad. But he also knew that he was in trouble, that he needed help. Whoever it was who’d kidnapped him this time, they knew who they were dealing with. It wasn’t just another random abduction, not just a group of silly protesters or annoying teenagers trying to bring him down. No. These people were.....prepared. They knew his weaknesses. His throat was dry as a desert. Any hope of escape had died with his last ounce of energy as he crumpled into a heap on the floor, awake but helpless and ill. He couldn’t escape.

“Agent Hill, this is Fury. Please respond.” Nick said over the radio.  
“This is Agent Hill, director, I hear you.” Maria responded.  
“Launch your search squad immediately. I’m ordering a full sweep of the area.”  
“Yes, director. Any leads to where he might be?”  
“Anywhere with a large black car is of particular interest, but leave no stone unturned. This could be bad.”  
“Or it could be fine and he could be fighting his way out as we speak.”  
“He could be. But until we know that, let’s pretend this is bad.”  
“Yes, Director Fury. My squad is on the move now.”

While the SHIELD squad swept the area, the Avengers assisted. Steve looked around, worrying. Worrying about Loki, about why he hadn’t returned yet. Worrying that something bad had happened, that this particular kidnapping had been serious, a real threat. Worrying that he was injured. Worrying, though he tried not to, that he was dea-  
No, he couldn’t think like that.


	3. Only chance...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rescued. Finally rescued. But Loki was in serious trouble......Where his rescuers too late?

Loki stirred slightly, his brain barely working, his mind a foggy mush. How long had he been there? Hours. Seven hours at least, he was sure. Or was he sure? He couldn’t think anymore. He could only feel. He could only the feel the heat around him, the terrible, unbearable heat. And he felt the nausea rising within him, but he had no energy to even retch or vomit. He couldn’t have moved even if he’d tried. And he felt his heart beating, miraculously beating, beating rapidly and erratically but somehow still beating. But that was all he felt. He faded painfully back into unconsciousness.

The agent, a woman of twenty two years, jumped at the sound of gunfire. Her first mission as a fully certified SHIELD agent and there was already gunfire. The building her squad were moving towards was run down and abandoned, but there were bullets flying from the broken windows. And SHIELD fired back, knowing that somewhere in that building was what they were looking for. They would always keep firing. Heroes protected their own. 

As the door was forced open by a more senior member, the agent shuddered. The air flowing from the room was hot, scalding hot. Almost burning. She hadn’t known that air could be that hot, yet here it was, boiling hot air flowing from the room behind the door. The senior agents ahead of her and her fellow newbies poured into the room. She heard their commander radio in.  
“Agent Hill, this is Agent Dyson checking in from sub squad seven. We’ve found him. I repeat: we have found Loki.”   
The agent didn’t here what Hill said back, but their commander was still on the line to her.  
“Send medical help immediately.”

Tony and Steve threw themselves out of the car. The scene around them was a mess, a totally chaotic mess. Three dead bodies had been out to the side, all male and all littered with gunshot wounds. One was a SHIELD agent, but the other two were unfamiliar to them. Police cars were parked at odd angles, their lights flashing and their drivers walking around, putting up security tape and collecting evidence. And the ambulance, sitting their with its sirens still wailing. A flurry of shouts cried out as a crowd of people came rushing out of the desolate and filthy building in front of them. Paramedics, pushing a patient urgently. They passed them and Tony caught a snatch of what they were saying.  
“105.9 degrees F. Not good.”   
They stopped as they loaded the patient into the ambulance carefully. Tony felt sorry for whoever it was. With a body temp of 105.9 degrees, they didn’t stand much chance. Steve’s face was grim. Tony was about to ask why, but then he saw it too. He saw the patient being loaded into the ambulance, only his face. He knew that face too well, the pale face curtained by black hair, lit up by green eyes like pieces of jade. Only now that face was awfully still, and bright red. Tony had never seen Loki’s face red. Not even a blush. He knew it was bad.

Tony looked at the doctor as she gave him a bundle of forms.  
“I’m sorry. I just didn’t know who else to give them to. His only family member seems to be his brother, who isn’t even an American citizen.....or a citizen of Earth....or even on Earth at the moment. We need the signatures to be 100% valid.” She said gently and apologetically. Tony forced himself out of his state of worry for a moment and looked at the forms. It took him a moment to realise what they were. Do Not Resuscitate forms.  
“We just think that, with his body so close to shutting down, letting him go would be the best thing for him if he flatlines.” The doctor said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Tony could almost hear her thoughts. When he flatlines, he knew she was thinking.   
“You’re not even going to give him a chance?” He gulped as he flicked through the papers.  
“There’s a 85% chance that resuscitation would be ineffective if he went into cardiac arrest at this point. His organs are too close to full shut down.”   
There’s still the other 15%, Tony thought, but he didn’t say it. He stood up and went to the nearby desk, where he found a pen. He lay his head down on the cool surface of the desk for a moment. He wished he was the one dying. Dignity of death, he thought. But no. For Loki, there would be no dignity. Not to die like this. He knew his friend would strangle him if he could see him signing those forms, but the point remained. Loki was too close to death to strangle someone else.

When they were finally allowed in to see Loki, Tony was speechless. He wanted to cry and vomit at the same time, but managed to do neither. Seeing Loki covered in wires, feeling the air around him as cold as it could go and seeing the bags of fluid hanging on rods made him feel sicker than some of the patients. Nobody seemed to be able to say anything as they all looked at Loki. Tony knew they were all thinking the same thing. Don’t die Loki. He couldn’t. Not here. Not now. Not after he had survived so much. Not with Thor off on some great adventure, searching for glory and love across the universe. Loki just couldn’t die. He had to live.  
“I signed the DNR forms.” Tony said, firstly to inform his friends of the fact, and secondly to give Loki a message, if he could somehow hear him. He said it within his head.  
“You’ve gotta pull though, buddy. This is the only chance you’ve got.”


	4. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor, off on his adventure, was oblivious to the terrible troubles his friends were going through on Midgard. In search of fun and adventure, he meets someone who he finds strange and mysterious. But he didn’t mind. Strange and mysterious were things he was used to......having a little brother like Loki helped with that. But a feeling of foreboding cut his adventure short....

Thor dropped another interesting stone into his bag, tied around his waist. Usually, he would have no interest in pretty pebbles, but he was collecting them as souvenirs to give to his friends when he returned to Midgard. He had been away for......five months? Six? He had lost count during his thrilling adventure. It was truly thrilling, to be away from any place of binding, to have no home. To have only himself to think of. He could choose what he ate, where he slept. Nothing controlled him. Occasionally, he would run into an army or two, armies who always seemed determined to make their way across the galaxy and destroy Midgard. Poor little Midgard did seem to attract a lot of trouble. Thor was only too happy to stop the armies in their tracks, along with the bandits, space pirates and unholy monsters he ran into. He was from Asgard, after all, and Asgard was supposed to be the big brother of Earth, as the locals called it, and Asgard would protect its little brother. Thor, as he bent to pick up another pebble, thought of his real little brother, Loki. It had been so long since they’d seen each other. Loki was the only thing he really missed, the only thing that made him determined to return to Midgard for a while at least. He wondered what Loki was up to. Saving the day? Pulling pranks and causing mischief? Reading a book? All seemed likely. A shuffling behind him made him remember his travelling companion, and he turned to her and smiled. The woman had never spoken to him, had barely made a sound at all, but she had been a good friend and a good companion for the two weeks since they’d crossed paths. She was submissive, and seemed happy to let him make all of the decisions. But she had silently insisted on cooking and mending the clothes he had carelessly allowed to be torn. He guessed she had been a housewife, or a maid. Her young face and hair not specked with grey made him think that the latter was more likely. A maid, cast away or left behind perhaps, perhaps traumatised by some experience that left her unable to speak. Or perhaps she had just chosen silence. He would never know. She was bent down now, by a small pond of pinkish water. He thought she was also picking up stones, but when she straightened her slim figure, her long brown hair and tan skin radiating beauty, her arms were full of a sticky green weed. She gestured for him to open his bag and he did so. She squashed the weed in.  
“What is it for?” He asked. She scratched a few letters into the ground with her foot. He had at first wondered where she had learnt the letters of Asgard, but she had not told him anything when he asked her. He looked at what she had written.  
“Soup?” He asked. She nodded. 

Thor couldn’t sleep that night. He kept thinking about Loki, about how much he missed him. He tossed and turned on his earthen bed, the soup he’d eaten churning in his stomach. By morning, he was ready to pack up and end his adventure. He didn’t know why, but he had a sudden urge to get back to his brother. He explained this to the woman (who had never shared her name with him). When he started walking, looking for a suitable place to call Bïfrost (it was sort of like Midgard’s telephone service. Some places (or planets) had better reception than others), she followed. He explained to her again that he was leaving her world, returning to his friends. She kept following.  
“Why are you following me?” He asked. She scratched words into the dirt. “Coming with you.”.  
“Why do you want to come with me?” He asked. She shrugged and scratched again. “You will bring me to what I need.”.  
“What do you need?” He asked, but she would not elaborate. 

Thor didn’t knock on the door of the tower and quickly found his friends. The woman was still with him, but nobody asked who she was or where she was from. Their faces were grim and sad looking.  
“Where is Loki?” He asked, anxious to speak to his brother, to hold him and tell him the tales of his adventure. Perhaps Loki could find a better way of communicating with the woman. Loki was so much cleverer than him. Everyone looked at him, then at each other. They seemed to be having a silent conversation. Finally, Tony stood up and put an arm around him.  
“Loki’s sick, Thor. He’s in a coma.” He muttered. Thor felt his heart stop.


	5. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The woman, though silent, was not without purpose. She had finally found what she needed....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small trigger warning for this chapter as it discusses the death of a newborn baby. Please don’t read if this topic deeply upsets you.

Steve’s mind was lurching around in a horrible mess. The events of the past days were swirling around his head, mixing with each other and taunting him. Kidnap. Heatstroke. Coma. It was all too much for him. He’d thought he was past the worst part of his life, past the war. But he wasn’t. Here was yet another fallen soldier, yet another friend he couldn’t help. He’d been able to help Bucky, all those years ago, even if he hadn’t been able to help him later. But now, for the first time, as Loki lay terribly still and pale, he knew he couldn’t do anything. He was completely helpless. He knew that if it had been the other way around, if he were in a coma and Loki still healthy, it would have been different. Loki would have found a way to help him, some magical or medical means of bringing him his health back. But he wasn’t like Loki. He wasn’t as tricky, wasn’t as cunning or as intelligent. Wasn’t as sick, or as terribly frail. He couldn’t help Loki.

The woman looked down at her arms. Just a few weeks ago, there had been a baby in those arms. Her baby. Her little baby boy. She had fallen pregnant with her lover’s baby. Her lover had left her. Her parents kicked her out of home. She lived on the streets, stealing for food. She knew she couldn’t live like that, so she had turned to the countryside of her planet, to the wild. There had been food there, enough food for her. She had gone through labor alone, with nobody to help her. Her baby had been born, barely making a sound. He had died two days later, in her arms. Left without a purpose, she had kept wandering, in despair. She was searching. Searching for something to replace the baby she would now never raise. Searching for something to look after, something to care for and nurse. Something that cared for her. But she hadn’t spoken since. The loss of her child had left her without words. Nothing was worth speaking about now. So she chose her silence, and found someone. But he didn’t really need her. He could get on without her, he could survive on his own. But she had got a feeling, a strange feeling. A feeling that told her that if she stayed with him long enough, he would bring her to what she needed. He would bring her to someone who did need her, who couldn’t survive without her. And, eventually, he had. She saw what she needed now. It was terribly sad. Nobody had objected to her going with her into the building she supposed was some sort of healing place, but she half wished she hadn’t gone in. The look on his face, Thor’s face, as he laid eyes on the frail, sick and pale thing that must have at some point resembled a brother. Now, all that lay there was a broken man. There were no wounds. He looked almost perfect, lying there. But he was silent, like her baby. Pale and sickly like her baby. Lost, without hope like her baby. But he would not die like her baby. She wouldn’t let him. But she didn’t understand what was wrong with him. Looking around the room, she found some paper and a pencil. She wrote out her question in the letters of Earth. She could read, write and speak any language. They tried to explain it to her, what was wrong with the sick man. She gained some understanding. She wrote down. Surprisingly, the bearded man, Tony, smiled slightly when he read her answer aloud.  
“The heat broke him.” He read. “Yeah, I guess it did, sort of.” He agreed. They went on to explain how the treatments being given to the sick man weren’t working, weren’t helping him. Tony read her writing again.  
“You say he is of different blood, different species. Different strengths, different weaknesses. This illness effects him in different ways to others. Different time is needed for him to recover.”  
“He’s in a coma. He might not ever recover.” Natasha explained sadly, and then explained what a coma was.   
“It’s like his mind is switched off, like a light. In time, it might switch back on. But it might not.” She said. The woman thought. She knew the answer to this one. She wrote down again.  
“Have hope.”


	6. Visiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing about Loki’s condition changed much over the days. All his friends could do was visit.

Tony was visiting alone this time. Usually, Steve came with him, or Thor or Natasha. Sometimes Clint or Bruce, and often Hope (the name they had given the silent woman who now lived as a quiet but somehow calming friend). But today, he was alone. Well, not completely alone. Loki was there too, but he didn’t make very interesting conversation. The constant beeping drove Tony insane. It had been another week, and Loki was still in his coma. Heatstroke had done this. Tony looked down at Loki and shook his head.  
“Heatstroke isn’t supposed to do this, Loki. Most people don’t end up like this because of it.” He said aloud. He often talked to Loki, when he was alone. He could almost imagine Loki’s answer and smiled.  
“You’re right. You’re not most people. You’re special.” He agreed. He pondered that word. Special. Loki was certainly special. In more ways than one. He reached down and picked up the science book he’d brought. He started reading it aloud to Loki. That was how he spent his visits.

Natasha looked down at Loki, wishing that he would open his eyes, tell her to stop staring. But he stayed the same, still and pale. Beautiful, but sleeping. He looked dead, and she kept looking at the monitors to make absolute sure that he was still alive. Each beep came as a comfort to her. It told her that he was still fighting. Hope was sitting on the other side of his bed. Natasha tried to think of something to say to Loki, but she couldn’t. She didn’t know what to tell someone in a coma. She wasn’t even sure if he could hear her. She wished, so deeply, that he would wake up. That he would smile at her. She wanted him back so badly. She just wanted him to be okay. She wanted him to live.  
“He looks like an angel, doesn’t he? A sleeping angel.” A voice said. She looked up in surprise. There was nobody around. Nobody except Hope.  
“You can talk!” She said in surprise. Hope nodded.  
“Of course I can. I just don’t like to....not since...I only like to talk when I’m alone. But I don’t mind talking to you. Or to him.” Hope said, her voice still unfamiliar to Natasha’s ears as she gestured to Loki. Natasha looked at Loki’s handsome and almost perfect face.  
“Yes, he does look like a sleeping angel.” She agreed.

Thor sat down next to Loki’s bed, and was gone again five minutes later. He just couldn’t bear to stay there for long. Whatever he was visiting, it wasn’t Loki. Loki was lively, cheeky and mischievous. The man on the bed was unmoving and grim. Loki’s mind was somewhere else at the moment, and his mind was what Thor loved. When Loki woke up, Thor would visit for hours, because his brother would have returned. When he woke up. Not if. Loki WOULD wake up. One day. He was sure. 

Steve finished the sketch he’d been working on. He folded it and propped it up next to the others next to Loki’d bed. He liked to spend his visits drawing. He liked to think that he was giving Loki something to look at when he woke up, something that wasn’t boring like the rest of the hospital. He had usually drawn in gray, but these drawings were bright and colourful. He needed colour to keep him happy, to lift his spirits. And Loki would surely prefer something bright and cheery. The one he’d just finished was a tree. A towering tree. He wasn’t sure what type, but thought it somewhat resembled an oak tree. There were pictures of lots of other things as well; a cat, a pearl inside a clam. A hawk soaring through the air. There was also a picture he’d drawn of Hope the day before, standing by the small window. He hoped that Loki would like them when he woke up.

Clint never said anything when he visited. He never visited alone, either. He always went when Bruce was going. He couldn’t bear to be alone with Loki. He didn’t like it when the guilt started creeping up on him, started rising up. He wished, now, that he’d just gone and rescued Loki the moment he knew he was gone. It all could have been avoided that way. Waiting for Loki to return on his own had been a mistake, an almost fatal mistake. They’d just expected him to come back, easily and happy. Loki seemed to have accepted the fact that there would always be people who wanted to kidnap him, wanted to hurt him. Clint knew that feeling. But it wasn’t right. Bruce didn’t say much either. He was always lost in thought, thinking about the machines keeping Loki alive, the ones feeding him and hydrating him, the ones that didn’t seem to have a purpose at all. It distracted him from his own guilt, the guilt of a doctor that couldn’t help. Nobody could help.

But they could visit.


	7. Protesters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Loki awake, there was bound to be trouble. With Loki asleep, there was sure to be double.

The man on the tv shook his fist at the camera.  
“He’s too expensive to keep alive! All the electricity wasted on the machines keeping him alive, all the money spent on whatever medicine they’re pumping into him! He’s just a waste of space! Give his bed to someone who actually deserves to live!” He roared. Tony switched off the tv and buried his head in his hands.   
“That idiot doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Clint muttered, fists clenched.  
“He wouldn’t be saying that if it was his friend in a coma, or his brother.” Steve said, casting a look at the doorway that Thor had stormed out of at first mention of the newest protest. Tony’s head was still on his hands.  
“I just want him to wake up. Is that too much to ask?” He murmured, tears in his eyes and in his voice.   
“No, it’s not too much to ask.” Clint said, standing up with a voice full of the anger he could barely contain anymore.   
“But some people just don’t get that, just don’t understand.” Steve added, also standing and resting a hand on Clint’s shoulder. Natasha and Bruce were silent, like Hope. Nobody had noticed that she’d left the room.

Thor stood on the roof of the tower, his hair blowing in the wind. He held Mjolnir in one hand and stared to the sky. Hope came up behind him, silent. She didn’t need to write down her question to ask it.  
“I’m leaving. I can’t stay here on this planet anymore! Midgard was once the place I came to be happy, to forget my sorrows! Now all I have here is more of those sorrows, a brother who will forever sleep!” Thor said loudly. Hope debated for a second and opened her mouth.  
“Not forever. He will wake.” She said. Thor was shocked into silence by the sound of her voice for a minute.  
“How do you know?” He finally asked. Hope shrugged.  
“He is brave and spirited, kind and loving. He is tortured and he has shadows, but he casts much light on the lives of others. His powers help him help others, help him recover even now as we speak. He is loved by few but loved stronger than he could ever be hated. He will wake.” She said. She couldn’t remember using so many words at once in a long time.  
“How do you know all of this? You have never met him.” Thor said, still trying to find reasons to escape the days of waiting for Loki to open his eyes.  
“I can feel him. Every time you speak his name, every time his friends mention him. I feel the man you miss and the man I will one day meet and love just as dearly as all of you. I know him from your hearts.” Hope explained, though it confused Thor more. But he put down his hammer, sense returning to his mind. Now wasn’t the time to leave.

It was the first time they’d faced the protesters in person. They looked mean, and determined. And unfortunately, there were quite a few of them. Tony did a head count and numbered up at least twenty of them, all gathered outside the tower. All were shouting similar things about Loki being an expensive vegetable. Tony shuddered at the word vegetable. Such an unforgiving and cold word. Not one to describe Loki at all.   
“Why don’t you switch him off!? Why don’t you eliminate one of the threats to the world!? Why don’t you do your job as our protectors!? Why don’t you let the monster die!?” One yelled. Clint walked up to him.  
“Let me see......because he’s our friend, and every bit your protector! Why don’t you shut your mouth about our business!? Why don’t you find a job instead of standing around trying to get coma patients killed!? Why don’t you let me throw your friend in an oven and see what happens!?” He yelled.  
“Clint! Not now.” Steve hissed from behind him. Clint wouldn’t take it.  
“He’s done more direct harm to me then he’s done to you! Do you know what it’s like to have someone in your brain, to have someone controlling your every move!? It’s the worst feeling in the universe! And, trust me, you hate the people who did it to you! I hated Loki with every cell in my body! If I can trust him, be his friend and sit around hoping and praying that he wakes up after someone hurt him, then you, who has no idea what you’re talking about, can go and get stuffed!”  
“Why don’t you get stuffed!?” A woman yelled. Clint grinned the evil grin that always made even Loki himself shudder.  
“Because I’m the one with the power to put the lot of you on life support.” He said in a low voice, reaching for his bow which he went nowhere without, not even for a walk. The protesters ran.  
“What are we going to do if they go to the police about that?” Tony asked the moment they were inside.  
“They won’t.” Clint promised. His fists were clenched.   
“You should have kept it cool, Clint.” Natasha said cautiously.  
“I should have killed them all, that’s that I should have done. Nobody calls my friend a monster.”   
Clint left to room. Tony thought about the anger in Clint’s words, the passion and the heartbreak he had spoken. The absolute loyalty. He wished Loki could have seen it.


	8. Sleeping angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine’s Day was supposed to be a day of love, not despair.

Hope’s hand trailed along the paper as she wrote. Her thoughts were conveyed to the words as easily as water to ice. She knew that today was a special day, a day of love and a day of care. She didn’t truly understand it, but she knew she had love to give. Prompted by Natasha, she had decided to make this. A way to give her love, a way to vent her feelings. A way to show that she really cared. To show to the poor broken man that he was loved. Words were one thing she did understand. No matter the language, no matter the spoken tone, she could understand words. And write them. She could write words. Perhaps she wasn’t the best at speaking, but she could write. She could only write. Write the sorrow and tender yearning in her heart as Clint sat with his head in his hands, crying though he tried to hide it. Tears were strange things. Tears of sorrow, tears of fear. Tears of love, tears of happiness. Or tears like Clint’s, tears of waiting, tears of desperation and weak faith. Tears of a man who missed his friend.

Tony was sitting next to Loki’s bed, just looking down at him.   
“God, Loki, I hope you wake up soon. It’s usually hard to keep you entertained for twenty minutes....now you’ve been lying there for two months, doing nothing at all. You’re not going to believe it, but your doctor’s starting to say that you might not wake up. She’s not right, is she? You’ll wake up, soon I hope.” He said. He imagined a reply as usual.  
“Yes, Loki, I know I need to give you time to sort out whatever whacked up issues you’re sorting out in that brain of yours. But can’t you take a break and wake up for a while? Two months is a long time to go without hearing your voice.” He said. He imagined another reply.  
“Yes, I know it’s Valentine’s Day, and I know you’d be out with the ladies if you weren’t stuck here. It’s freezing cold outside. You’d love that, wouldn’t you? All nice and cold, no risk of heatstroke.....Oh, that reminds me.”  
He pulled a piece of paper out of his coat pocket. It had a beautifully drawn love heart on the front, shaded pale pink. He held it out as though showing it to Loki.  
“It’s from Hope. Steve drew the picture for her.” He explained. He smiled.  
“I don’t think she really understands what Valentine’s Day is, but it’s nice of her, isn’t it? Now at least you have a Valentine.” He put the card next to Steve’s many other drawings and the flurry of other get well wishes. Then he picked it up again.  
“I’d better read it to you, since you can’t really at the moment. Let’s see...” He said, opening it up.  
“Oh, it’s a poem!   
“To my lovely valentine, handsome, kind and tall.  
To my lovely valentine, bravest of them all.   
To my lovely valentine, like an angel you do sleep.  
To my lovely valentine, tears your friends do weep.   
To my lovely valentine, you are my secret prize.   
One day, my lovely valentine, I hope to see your eyes.””  
Tony was truly weeping by the time he finished reading it. He clasped Loki’s hand.  
“You can’t die, Loki. You have to live! You have to!” He begged.  
A single tear slipped from Loki’s closed eyes.


	9. Waiting and Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, after so long, the wait was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else is ready for Loki to wake up? Me!! I could barely wait to write this part!

Tony stared at the tear, dead quiet. It ran down Loki’s cheek and off his face, fading into the unknown. It left a wet trail behind on the smooth and pale surface of Loki’s skin. His face seemed to be the only part of him that hadn’t changed much. His face was pale, yes, gaunt and grim, yes, but not sunken like the rest of him, not too much thinner than it had been two months ago. The rest of his body, sadly, was a different story. Loki had always been a slim man, which was one of the things that set him apart from Thor, but now, he was skinny. Tony could have counted his ribs if he’d lifted up the sheets and shirt. He had lost a great deal of weight, putting strain on his already struggling body. His arms were thinner, though not quite wasted, and Tony knew from the little he’d seen of his legs that they were the same. Yes, the only part of Loki that was even remotely alive was his face, with its wet tear track. Tony kept looking. He dropped Loki’s hand. Then he saw something that he didn’t dare to believe. He convinced himself it had been a trick of the light. Then it happened again, but he still wouldn’t believe it. Then it happen for a third time, and he was sure of it. Loki’s hand was twitching.

Within a week, the doctor said an hour later, when she called Tony. The previous month, she had told him that Loki would likely die within a week. Now, it was a totally different story. Within a week. Within a week, Loki would open his eyes again, would wake up. Within a week, they would have their friend back. They barely dared to believe it, because after all the hurt, sorrow and waiting, the very possibility of ever seeing the jade green of Loki’s eyes again seemed like a true, utter and total miracle. But they still had to wait for the week to pass.

The next day, Tony didn’t feel like getting out of bed. He felt drained and scared by a dream he’d had, a nightmare where Loki had died. He didn’t even get up when Pepper dressed, left to have breakfast and came back in.  
“What’s wrong?” She asked. She would have thought that Tony would be ecstatic knowing that Loki would wake up any day now, but he looked depressed and upset.  
“I signed them, Pepper.” He murmured.  
“Signed what?” She asked.  
“I signed the DNR forms, ages ago. I signed the forms that took away any chance Loki had at surviving if he flatlines, his lifeline.” Tony explained flatly.  
“But Loki’s okay now, Tony. Remember? He’s going to wake up any time now, and everything will be fine again.” She tried to soothe, feeling his guilt in her own heart.  
“But what if he wasn’t okay? What if his heart stopped the night I signed them? What if he died in the last two months? What if he stopped breathing, and I’d taken away his only chance?”   
“What if, what if, what if! You have to stop that Tony, stop the what ifs. What if we all died today? What if the sun exploded? What if Natasha actually bit the bullet and started dating Clint? There isn’t enough time in life for what ifs. The main thing is, Loki is okay now, and he didn’t die. You have to focus on that, Tony.”  
Tony knew she was right, but they still had to wait.

The day after that, Clint was sitting alone, happy, but at the same time not happy. He couldn’t believe that Loki was actually going to wake up. He wouldn’t truly believe it until it happened. He hoped that Loki would be the same when he woke up, and not too mentally affected (his body was already a wreck!). Somehow, Clint felt that the time with Loki in hospital had changed him for the better. For the first time, he’d actually thought about his emotions, remembered that he actually cared about things dearly, not just on the surface. He remembered that he was allowed to cry, allowed to hope. He remembered what it was like to have a heart, a proper heart, full a whole. A heart that loved his friends, a heart that missed Loki. A heart still slightly madly in love with Natasha.......But a heart. He was grateful for that, but still wished that Loki had never been kidnapped in the first place. They still had to wait.

Then Tony got the call. Finally, after so long, the wait was over. It was late when it happened, after visiting hours. One more night and they could see Loki again, see his eyes for the first time in two months (or for the first time ever, in Hope’s case!)


	10. Hugs, Hope and holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally awake, Loki felt different. Happier.

So many hugs. Loki couldn’t remember ever being hugged more in his life. Since when did Natasha hug him? Since when did Clint hug ANYONE!? But they all hugged him, including the new woman he had never met. And Thor hugged him longest of all, though gently, which he was thankful for due to the fact that he still felt weak and tired. He was so glad to see his brother again. It had been so long. He couldn’t wait to hear the stories of his adventures, and the stories of the two months he’d been asleep. He cursed himself when nobody was looking, over and over. Yes, the heat was a biological predator of his, and he was definitely entitled to weakness and time to recover, but two entire months!? He couldn’t believe it. He was usually lucky to get a few hours sleep at the best of times.......His body had definitely needed a rest. And the kidnapping? Maybe he would take a break from that for a while. 

Finally, after so long, Loki was home. Home. Standing at home on his own two feet, his eyes open, wearing a dark green shirt and a pair of tight black pants that hid his slowly recovering legs. He was glad that the recovery was happening, that he was finally getting some muscle back, finally putting some weight on. The sooner he got better, the sooner he could go back to protecting Midgard, his job, his passion. The sooner he got better, the sooner Tony would stop freaking out every time he coughed, stumbled or sneezed (Stark was truly an overprotective person). But he was glad to be home, to the first place he’d felt accepted and happy. And it was pleasantly cool outside, not hot. The heat......he never wanted to think about it again. 

Loki was standing outside in the snow, looking around. The city never slept, was never quiet, but there was a certain peace and serenity to it all the same. No cars came his way, and there was no sign of anyone who wanted to harm him. A lot had happened in the months that had passed. He finally felt whole again, like he’d put all the pieces of himself back together. He felt strong. Stronger than even before his heatstroke. And he felt loved. He knew he’d been loved before, but now he had finally learned to feel it, to know it. He knew that he was loved and cared for by few people, but loved strongly. Where had he heard that before? Hope had said it to him in the days after he first woke up....  
“Loki, what are you doing out here?” Steve’s voice asked as he opened the door. Loki shrugged.  
“Thinking.” He said.  
“Well, stop thinking for once, Loki. Give yourself a break.” Steve said. Loki shrugged again.  
“Thinking keeps me calm.”  
“Come inside, Loki. It’s Christmas Eve, time for family, not for thinking.”  
Loki smiled and finally followed him through the door, out of the pleasant cold but into the more pleasant love of what Steve had said. A family.

Loki stood just outside the living room, while the others chatted sleepily inside, a few hours later. Despite Steve’s protests, he was thinking again. He realised he wasn’t alone.  
“Who are you?” Hope asked. She really could sneak up on him like no other! She still talked very little. He shrugged. He seemed to be shrugging a lot that night.  
“I’m Loki.” He said. Hope shook her head.  
“What else are you?” She asked.  
“I’m Loki, son of a king, cold as ice.”  
“And hot as fire.”  
Loki blushed for the first time in forever. Hope had been watching too many of Tony’s awful romance films. Hope approached him.  
“Let me thaw you out a bit.” She said.  
He would let her do that. It was time to be in control, to treat himself the way he deserved. Being struck down by his unavoidable weaknesses had made him realise that giving himself more weaknesses would doom him. He needed to let loose, be happy. Maybe have a little fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read this fanfic! I know I cheaped out on the ending, sorry!  
> Pretty please leave reviews in the comments!!!


End file.
